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Back to the '80's: Top 10 Cheesiest 80's Movie Quotes

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Top 10 Cheesiest 80's Movie Quotes

Admittedly, this will not be the quintessential Cheesy 80's Movie Quote list. However, this list had to be made for one reason and one reason only. The #1 quote on this list was so God awfully, terribly cheesy it could have taken up spots 1 thru 10 all by itself. But, seeing that it would have been "cheesy" on my part to list the same quote 10 times, I had to find 9 others to go along with it.

So, without further ado, I give you my personal 10 Cheesiest 80's Movie Quotes. Enjoy!

"Heeere's Johnny"
- Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson)
The Shining (1980)

Great and funny line, but cheesy in the context it was used in. Here was this horrifying movie with such creepy things as the little kid saying "Redrum...Redrum....Redrum" (Murder backwards), the sound of the tricycles wheels going from carpet to hard floor and back again, over and over, the creepy little girls and the creepy typing Jack was doing. Then the comedic line "Here's Johnny!!!" just felt out of place for me. Kinda cheesy.

"I'm your density. I mean....your destiny."
-George McFly (Crispin Glover)
Back to the Future (1985)

I'm sorry, this is the only clip of this quote I could find. It cuts off abruptly at the end. I'm sure you've all seen and heard it before, though.

I think he had it right the 1st time. Actually this one was pretty funny. That being said, it was still cheesy, though.

"I carried a watermelon."
-Baby (Jennifer Grey)
Dirty Dancing (1987)

Baby gets invited down to the "cool" party. When "Mr. Cool" himself (Patrick Swayze) asks what she's doing there, Baby has a brainfart and states the obvious. Proving how totally uncool she was.

I hope you can pick up my disdain for this horrible movie. Sorry to the Dirty Dancing fans, but this was one of the worst movies I've ever had the displeasure of walking out of. Although, I do understand it has it's place in 80's culture.

"Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here"
- Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson)
Back to the Future (1985)

I couldn't find the original line. But, thank God they came back in Back to the Future II and made "old" Biff smack "young" Biff upside the head for ever saying it in the first movie.
This line would have been cheesy even if he had said it the correct way. I understand they was trying to make Biff look stupid, but I felt stupid just because I heard him say it.

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."
-Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

Great movie. A breakthrough in the special effects industry. Great acting by Bob Hoskins and Kathleen Turner. Cheesy, cheesy line.

Basically, Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) was telling Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) she couldn't help being a hussy, because it's the way she was drawn (or made). I'm gonna try using this excuse next time I get called out on doing something unbecoming. I'm not bad. God just made me this way. As good an excuse as any I guess.

"No thanks, Dad. I already have a Mercedes."
-Les Anderson (Corey Haim)
License to Drive (1988)

I couldn't find a clip of the line being spoken, but I hope you enjoyed the trailer to the movie.

Basically, Les (Haim) has taken his grandfather's Caddy for a night of joy riding and completely demolished it. What Les didn't demolish was finished off by a steel beam that was dropped from a crane in front of the hospital Les has just driven his, in labor, mother to.

When Les' grandfather gets back with the family car it is revealed that it too has been totally demolished. Taking it in stride, his father tosses him the keys to the demolished family vehicle and tells him he can have the car. At this point Mercedes (Heather Graham) pulls up to pick Les up in her new car. Les tosses the keys back and says our #9 Cheesiest quote.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold."
-Johnny Cade (Ralph Macchio)
The Outsiders (1983)

I absolutely love this movie. The Outsiders was one of the better movies to come out of the 80's. It had tons of future stars jam packed in this teenage melodrama. Future stars like Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, Ralph Macchio, Diane Lane, Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon, C. Thomas Howell, Leif Garrett, Soffia Coppola and Tom Waits.

This idea of having 1950's Greasers quoting Robert Frost was kinda cheesy, though. Not that 1950's Greasers didn't eventually grow up to appreciate Frost, but I highly doubt any of them were walking around on the streets quoting Frost to each other. Loved the movie, but sometimes a bit cheesy.

"You can be my wingman anytime."
-Lt. Tom "Iceman" Kazansky (Val Kilmer)
Top Gun (1986)

WARNING - There is one obscenity in this clip.

They hate each other through the entire film and now they each want the other to be their wingman. I hate to laugh, but....Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Besides, we all know Val Kilmer is exponentially cooler than Tom Cruise. Watching this now, I would have loved to have seen Kilmer say "I'm your Huckleberry" back to Cruise. That would have made this movie watchable.

Maverick: "I feel the need..." Maverick and Goose together: "...the need for speed!"
-Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Lt. JG Nick "Goose" Bradshaw
Top Gun (1986)

Tom Cruise, back when people actually thought he was "cool". This line was as cheesy back then, to me, as it is today. Somebody find me some Ritz crackers!!! Fast!!!

"Nobody puts baby in a corner"
-Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze)
Dirty Dancing (1987)

The worst line in cinematic history!!! And it's not even close. It's been rumored Swayze lobbied against this line being put in the film. Cheesier heads prevailed and the, now, infamous line was uttered and cheesy immortality was made.

Swayze should have threatened to walk if made to say such a stupid line. But, if he had then I couldn't have made this list up for you in the first place. I couldn't find a clip with just the line, so consider the dancing a gift to the ladies watching. Your welcome.

Well, there, we've come to the end of another list. I hope you are all dripping in cheese. Don't blame me, though, I'm just the messenger. Blame Hollywood. Blame the actors. Blame the writers. Blame the directors. Just, please, don't blame me.

I'll be typin' at ya later,
Bob the Blogger


Admin said...

I really admire Jennifer Grey's tribute to Patrick Swayze. She's doing Dancing with the Stars for him, class.